Vital information for your everyday life

I feel the need to refresh people's memory, if they need it: the title of this post is an allusion to a classic skit of the same name that used to run on the Nickelodeon sketch show, All That. "Vital information" was one of the best things ever seen on Snick, right up there with the "Log!" bit on Ren and Stimpy and whenever Clarissa somehow managed to design her own, sleek video games to illustrate her life's problems. Yes, Lori Beth Denberg dispensing her words of wisdom was consistently among the highlights of any given Saturday night spent on the big orange couch back in the day.

Browsing the new Iona Athletics website earlier today, I randomly remembered my first reaction to seeing the school's mascot back when I was just starting to look into coming to college on North Ave. I told everyone I talked to that the Iona Gael looked strikingly similar to the leprechaun mascot of the Boston Celtics - but jacked up on steroids and wearing maroon and gold.

Examining the two now, I stand by that original assessment. Although, in order to fully transform into "Killian," "Lucky" would have to do more than just get hooked up with Barry Bonds's people and change his wardrobe. He'd have to spend some time growing out that beard and getting some type of a tan going. And he'd also have to change his demeanor pretty significantly. The Gael's all about intensity, standing there with his chest puffed out and his hands on his hips. Lucky, on the other hand, personifies calm confidence, giving a sly wink while leisurely leaning on his cane. Lucky actually uses his cane for its intended purpose, by the way; Killian just seems to have it on hand in case he wants to whack someone over the head sometime in a wild fit of 'roid rage.

On a related note, whenever I look at Lucky, I think about an interesting point in the history of his cigar. For lots and lots of years, the Celtics logo was drawn only in black, white, and green. The other coloring in the vest, cane, basketball, and flesh came in the late 90's. The cigar, however, was left uncolored. I always wonder if maybe this was a conscious decision made in order to avoid attracting the eye's attention to the leprechaun's destructive vice. If the Washington Bullets were re-named the Washington Wizards in order to dissociate with gun violence around that same time, it doesn't seem far-fetched that this design choice was made to diminish the prominence of Lucky's nicotine addiction.