True Life...

...I'm 20 years old, and I still decorate Easter eggs.

It's easily one of my favorite holiday traditions, too, and I don't think I'll ever give it up.

(Note: Below are three snapshots from this year's experience, complete with accompanying stories. Feel free to pretend that each one constitutes an actual segment of an actual episode of the MTV show. For realism, you could even go to YouTube and watch commercials in between! You know you want to.)

EACH YEAR, A FAVORITE EGG EMERGES FROM THE PACK: This year, my favorite egg (pictured at right) was part of a category I call "concept eggs." These are eggs that don't follow the design instructions of any kit; rather, they are conceived spontaneously during the creative process of egg-decoration. This particular "concept egg" was born out of adversity. Due to the careless consumption of hard-boiled white eggs meant for decorating during lunch, my sister was given six eggs to decorate this year, while I was given only five. But I refused to be slighted like that, so I took a regular, uncooked brown egg from the refrigerator, dyed it red, and drew on it a "CAUTION: RAW" label, a concerned face, and the outline of a growing crack in the shell. Just like that, lemons to lemonade.

THE PROBLEM OF THE PURPLE DYE: Each year, my sister and I both have to face up to the unavoidable and infuriating problem of the purple dye. For some reason, the purple dye provided in every egg-decorating kit we've ever encountered yields a splotchy and uneven finish. To solve the problem, we often briefly dip our purple eggs into blue dye once they've spent a healthy amount of time soaking in the purple. While this fix does seem to sufficiently clear up most inconsistencies in the dye-job, it is not without pitfalls; "Fig. 1" offers ample evidence to that end. If one simply lets the dipped purple egg sit undisturbed and perfectly still during the process of drying, any and all excess blue dye will collect at the base of the egg. Consequently, an unsightly, blue, circular region will form, as is seen. Fortunately, I rebounded from such near-disaster this Easter and seamlessly integrated the blemish into a repeating painted pattern of blue circles. The stunning finished product is seen in "Fig. 2." Again and again, the egg-decorating process demands resiliency from the artist - but I'm a veteran in this game, and I was clearly up to the challenge.

MIXING IT UP: This year, once all my eggs were decorated and completed, I sat looking at the glasses and mugs filled with dye still sitting on my kitchen table. I felt a little sad that the yearly ritual was over and that the dyes would soon be dumped down the sink. Just then, I had a flashback to summers of my youth spent at Camp Cabot at the YMCA in Waltham, Mass. I could use the dyes to tie-dye... something! But what? Well, as can be seen above, I decided on an old pair of socks. My sister dyed one sock, and I dyed the other (hers is the bottom one with the purple). Good times all-around. This might have to become a regular capping-off activity to decorating eggs from now on.