How I scooped the A.P. (by 2+ years)

I came across an Associated Press story the other day which discussed how police are increasingly overwhelmed by "suspicious item reports," many of which "can seem silly in hindsight."

The article provided the eye-catching statistic that, in New York, the number of such reports has jumped from 814 in 2002 (the first year for which a total was recorded) to 37,614 last year. And, of course, the article also made an obligatory mention of the infamous Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Lite-Brite crisis in my own Boston back in January.

Essentially, the article seems to have been written as an exploration of the post-9/11 world and the drawbacks of a culture often shaped largely by fear. It makes mention of the New York Metropolitan Transportation Authority's "If You See Something, Say Something" campaign, and seems to grapple with the positive and negative results of such campaigns, in general.

Well, faithful readers, you should know that I just so happen to have beat A.P. reporter Mr. Brian Westley to the punch on this issue. Here's a look into the archives of my high school newspaper, the venerable Knight Insight, for proof to that end. Enjoy...

"Fear Factor"
March 11, 2005

Something decidedly creepy – or annoying, at the very least – has been taking place on MBTA buses over the past year, and I cannot remain silent about it any longer.

I can still remember the first time I heard the recording...

I was riding Bus number 52 to school, bright and early, for the 18-millionth time (approximately) in my CM career. As usual, I was slumped down in my blue, plastic bus seat, peacefully nodding off for a short, morning nap. All of a sudden, a booming, computerized voice cut in without warning and ended my restful slumber, urging me to "please report any unattended bags or suspicious behavior to the bus driver." Ever since that fateful day, I have had the pleasure of hearing this delightful message from our friends at the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority a minimum of three to four times a day, excluding the occasions I drive or get driven to school. It remains as mildly unsettling now as it was that first time.

I understand that we live in a changed world since the events of September 11th, 2001, and that the Madrid, Spain train bombing last year raised legitimate questions about the possibility of a similar attack here in the US. However, I am fairly certain that it is still entirely unnecessary to remind commuters, on twenty minute intervals every day, to keep a watchful eye out for the presence of Al Qaeda on their bus. In fact, as surprising as it may be, it is my understanding that these nagging requests for citizen vigilance have not led to the uncovering of one, singular terrorist plot to date. Accordingly, I would appreciate an end to this vaguely Orwellian tactic, ASAP.

Plus, I really need my morning nap, and the hordes of rambunctious middle-schoolers on the 52 already present enough of a distraction.